Okay so first of all I have to admit that I have taken these ideas from a website called Elite Daily. I stumbled upon then on Facebook but I found them so powerful that I had to share.
The article is entitled: 20 Things That Mentally Strong People Don't Do. It is the musing of a writer named Paul Hudson. I will leave the full article for you to read in your own time. However I will list the 20 things that mentally strong people don't do:
1. Dwelling On The Past
2. Remaining In Their Comfort Zone
3. Not Listening To The Opinions Of Others
4. Avoiding Change
5. Keeping A Closed Mind
6. Letting Others Make Decisions For them
7. Getting Jealous Over The Successes Of others
8. Thinkg About The High Possibility Of Failure
9. Feeling Sorry for Themselves
10. Focusing On Their Weaknesses
11. Trying To Please People
12. Blaming Themselves For Thigns Outside Their Control
13. Being Impatient
14. Being Misunderstood
15. Feeling Like You're Owned
16. Repeating Mistakes
17. Giving Into Their Fears
18. Acting Without Calulating
19. Refusing Help From Others
20. Throwing In The Towel
http://elitedaily.com/life/motivation/20-things-mentally-strong-people-dont-do
Sometimes we seem preoccupied with over complicating our lives. We need to remember its the small things in life that make us happy. We become over concerned with being the person that others want us to be, that we forget that we are all individuals and our own person. You don't have to please others, it's acutally okay to do what you want.
Sometimes we think that it is just too hard to change, but think of all the possibilities that you may be missing out on. We as humans generally don't like change, but thankfully there are those among us who are not afraid and as result we have a better world to live in. Be the one who makes the change instead of being the one who just sits back wanting things to be different but not being prepared to do anything about it.
I would be the first to admit that staying in the rutt of life is a safe place for me. I am guilty of being that person that says things like: oh I wish I had done that, I have always wanted to do that, why can't I do that. Now I am going to try to be the person who says things like this: I am going to do that because I have always wanted to, what can I do to take the steps I need to reach that goal.
These are a few of the wise words that I like from the article. I am going to apply some of them in my day to day life. I don't want to be in the rutt anymore people!
"Staying in your comfort zone is giving up on life"
"Trying to avoid change is pointless; it's a mere waste of time and energy"
"If you stop learning, you stop living"
"If you don't have the courage to fail, then you don't have the courage to succeed"
"You can't please everyone, but you can always manage to do your very best"
"Most people fail because they are impatient and give up before their time has come"
"In life, there are no handouts"
"If others are offering to help, let them help"
And my favourite:
"Only do things if they are important to you; forget the things that aren't important to you. If they're important to you, then pursue them until you succeed. NO EXCEPTIONS, EVER!
Small steps are needed but you can do it. Become a legend, a game changer, a person who is mentally strong.
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
The Circle of Life
Came off duty last night (Monday) on a bit of a high. Was even still buzzing about it this morning when I woke up. Only 3 jobs for my night but they were an overdose, an MVA involving a car vs truck and trailer unit and then to end the night a birth!
The MVA turned out to not be as serious as it could have potentially been. The driver of the car was drunk! This is what I think could very well have saved his life! He had pulled out of a rural intersection ignoring the Give Way sign. The truck and trailer unit were doing 100km per hour! The truck driver took evasive action but still hit the car on the passenger side pushing the vehicle to the side of the road facing the wrong way. The driver of the car only sustained a blood nose from the air bag hitting him in the face! Like I said very lucky. Then driver of the truck was unjured but badly shaken as to be expected! I really do not like treating druck drivers as they are generally full of attitude, as was this driver. They don't seem to have any comprehension of the danger they pose not only to themselves but other drivers etc on our roads. This guy was trying hard to blame the truck driver even though it was clearly driver of the cars fault. Grrr. We transported the guy to Hospital for observation etc. Enroute to Hospital he became quite lippy with me. He even tried it on at the Hospital so we had to get Security involved! Like I said before, these types of patient really annoy the crap out of me. They take up valuable resources that could be needed else where!
After finishing that job we were responded straight away to a birth in progress! This is the sort of job that you can get really excited about but has the potential to go belly up pretty quick if there are complications.
Thankfully on our arrival, which was only a couple of minutes, the baby had been born and was fit, healthy, great pink colour and very very responsive. All things you want to hear and see when you attend such a job! This was the second child for the parents. Baby was a week early which is why his arrival was such a surprise to everyone! Mum had been having contractions for a while, however the delivery was very quick. Her waters broke and she yelled out to her husband. When he walked into their room she was standing up holding the head of the baby between her legs! Baby was delivered safely and when we got there mother and baby were sitting in the hallway. Glad the mess was all in their house and not the back of our ambulance haha! I got to help deliver the placenta. Then we set about prepping to cut the cord. Making sure all the important things were out of the way of the scalpal! Didn't want to circumsise the new born son haha! Dad did the honors with a big cheesy grin on his face.
We loaded mother and baby into our ambulance and transported them to their birthing centre where their midwife was. The midwife was already attending two births in progress at the centre, hence why she wasn't at the house!
Came away from that job feeling such a buzz! It was a real priviledge to be part of something so special.
To start the night off with someone who wanted to end their life by overdose, to an idiot drunk driver with no regard for anyone elses life, to new life beginning! The circle of life as I said!
The MVA turned out to not be as serious as it could have potentially been. The driver of the car was drunk! This is what I think could very well have saved his life! He had pulled out of a rural intersection ignoring the Give Way sign. The truck and trailer unit were doing 100km per hour! The truck driver took evasive action but still hit the car on the passenger side pushing the vehicle to the side of the road facing the wrong way. The driver of the car only sustained a blood nose from the air bag hitting him in the face! Like I said very lucky. Then driver of the truck was unjured but badly shaken as to be expected! I really do not like treating druck drivers as they are generally full of attitude, as was this driver. They don't seem to have any comprehension of the danger they pose not only to themselves but other drivers etc on our roads. This guy was trying hard to blame the truck driver even though it was clearly driver of the cars fault. Grrr. We transported the guy to Hospital for observation etc. Enroute to Hospital he became quite lippy with me. He even tried it on at the Hospital so we had to get Security involved! Like I said before, these types of patient really annoy the crap out of me. They take up valuable resources that could be needed else where!
After finishing that job we were responded straight away to a birth in progress! This is the sort of job that you can get really excited about but has the potential to go belly up pretty quick if there are complications.
Thankfully on our arrival, which was only a couple of minutes, the baby had been born and was fit, healthy, great pink colour and very very responsive. All things you want to hear and see when you attend such a job! This was the second child for the parents. Baby was a week early which is why his arrival was such a surprise to everyone! Mum had been having contractions for a while, however the delivery was very quick. Her waters broke and she yelled out to her husband. When he walked into their room she was standing up holding the head of the baby between her legs! Baby was delivered safely and when we got there mother and baby were sitting in the hallway. Glad the mess was all in their house and not the back of our ambulance haha! I got to help deliver the placenta. Then we set about prepping to cut the cord. Making sure all the important things were out of the way of the scalpal! Didn't want to circumsise the new born son haha! Dad did the honors with a big cheesy grin on his face.
We loaded mother and baby into our ambulance and transported them to their birthing centre where their midwife was. The midwife was already attending two births in progress at the centre, hence why she wasn't at the house!
Came away from that job feeling such a buzz! It was a real priviledge to be part of something so special.
To start the night off with someone who wanted to end their life by overdose, to an idiot drunk driver with no regard for anyone elses life, to new life beginning! The circle of life as I said!
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Please Let 2014 Be Better Than 2013
Hello 2014!
Nice to see you, but I have to admit that for a moment there I thought we were going to get off on the wrong foot!
Saw the New Year on Ambulance Duty! Was a fun night as the my crew member is a real hoot and there was no way that we weren't going to have some fun, even if it might be at our patients expense haha!
We were out the door pretty much straight away for a medical call and then we really didn't do too much until closer to midnight. In fact our midnight patient was oh wait what did you expect...thats right a drunk person haha! Thankfully they were partying hard at their Mum and Dads house so we didn't have to clog up the hospital. The patient was fine to be left at home and in the care of the sober concern parents!
Then we ended up at the local prison, which is always a fun visit! Some of those prisoners sure know the right words to say to get a trip to hospital. Unfortunately we have our hands tied a bit here as we have to treat not only what we see but what they are telling us. If they know the right words to use such as "chest pain" etc then we have a duty of care to take them to hospital! By the time we waited for all the appropriate paperwork for the prisoner to be allowed to come to hospital with the appropriate guards to their company etc it turned into a very very long job. Don't get me wrong, some of the prisoners are actually sick and need our help, but sadly this was not the case with this gentleman!
Got back to station about 3.30am and managed to even shut our eyes for about an hour and a half after winding down. The tones go off at 5.45am and we are out the door again! This time we were off to Raglan for a patient who had collapsed and had been seen to have seizure. The Raglan crew already had the patient on board so we met them enroute, transferred the patient our truck and then carried on back towards hospital. Made it almost all the way to Raglan though. Good P1 driving my fine crew memeber haha!
Finally got back to our station just after 7.30am. Restock the truck and then it was time to log off and head home for a well deserved sleep!
I really enjoyed having the chance to do the first complete 13 hour shift, I normally only do 8 hours, in over 2 years! Oh the joys of having been pregnant and then having a baby to look after! Miss Holly spent the night up at her Nannys.
This was the first big sleep over for Miss Holly at Nannys. Secretly I was praying that she would be a good girl, go to bed without any fuss, sleep all night, wake up at her normal time around 6.30-7.00am, eat her breakfast and basically be a good girl! My wish it seemed was granted. She was just a little star! Farmer Brown had gone up to the Big House for dinner and stayed there until Miss Holly was settled in to bed for the night. Nanny tells me that she only heard her once during the night, but left her as I had instructed and she went back to sleep until 6.30am like the good girl that she is! She not only ate her breakfast, she even drank almost a whole bottle too!
I am hoping that this now opens the way for her to go up there at other times! It would be so great to have some time to ourselves once and a while. Maybe to enjoy dinner out or even a movie etc. Am so proud of Missy for being such a good wee girl!
Miss Holly is now walking like she has done it all of her little wee life. She races around the house without a care in the world. She is so funny. When she knows she is doing something that we don't like her to do, she tries to run away from us, giggling her head off like it is the biggest joke out!
The other day I could hear splashing water coming from somewhere and what do you know Miss Holly was no where to be seen....until I looked in the toilet! There she is with the toilet brush in her hand splashing it in and out of the toilet! Water going everywhere, so much so that she was having trouble getting traction on the slippery floor! She thought it was hilarious. I must admit that I did too but I was really trying hard not to laugh out loud! Don't want to encourage her too much. Instead I steered her out of the toilet and told her that next time I would show her how to use the vacuum cleaner and the washing machine since she was so keen haha!
Tomorrow she is off to get her 15 month old immunisations. Am taking Farmer Brown with me as he will need to help me hold her for this round as she is to get 3 injections this time. One in each thigh and one in the arm. Poor wee bugger! Needs to be done though and she doesn't have the next ones until she is 4 years old. At least its a big break between this and the next lot!
She is back at Day Care this week after a two week break for the Christmas Holidays. I have enjoyed having her at home with me, but I would be lying if I said that I was happy that she was going back on Tuesday haha!
So 2014, so far so good and long may it continue. Lets put all the turmoil of last year behind us and look onwards and upwards for the next exciting chapter in our busy busy lives!
Nice to see you, but I have to admit that for a moment there I thought we were going to get off on the wrong foot!
Saw the New Year on Ambulance Duty! Was a fun night as the my crew member is a real hoot and there was no way that we weren't going to have some fun, even if it might be at our patients expense haha!
We were out the door pretty much straight away for a medical call and then we really didn't do too much until closer to midnight. In fact our midnight patient was oh wait what did you expect...thats right a drunk person haha! Thankfully they were partying hard at their Mum and Dads house so we didn't have to clog up the hospital. The patient was fine to be left at home and in the care of the sober concern parents!
Then we ended up at the local prison, which is always a fun visit! Some of those prisoners sure know the right words to say to get a trip to hospital. Unfortunately we have our hands tied a bit here as we have to treat not only what we see but what they are telling us. If they know the right words to use such as "chest pain" etc then we have a duty of care to take them to hospital! By the time we waited for all the appropriate paperwork for the prisoner to be allowed to come to hospital with the appropriate guards to their company etc it turned into a very very long job. Don't get me wrong, some of the prisoners are actually sick and need our help, but sadly this was not the case with this gentleman!
Got back to station about 3.30am and managed to even shut our eyes for about an hour and a half after winding down. The tones go off at 5.45am and we are out the door again! This time we were off to Raglan for a patient who had collapsed and had been seen to have seizure. The Raglan crew already had the patient on board so we met them enroute, transferred the patient our truck and then carried on back towards hospital. Made it almost all the way to Raglan though. Good P1 driving my fine crew memeber haha!
Finally got back to our station just after 7.30am. Restock the truck and then it was time to log off and head home for a well deserved sleep!
I really enjoyed having the chance to do the first complete 13 hour shift, I normally only do 8 hours, in over 2 years! Oh the joys of having been pregnant and then having a baby to look after! Miss Holly spent the night up at her Nannys.
This was the first big sleep over for Miss Holly at Nannys. Secretly I was praying that she would be a good girl, go to bed without any fuss, sleep all night, wake up at her normal time around 6.30-7.00am, eat her breakfast and basically be a good girl! My wish it seemed was granted. She was just a little star! Farmer Brown had gone up to the Big House for dinner and stayed there until Miss Holly was settled in to bed for the night. Nanny tells me that she only heard her once during the night, but left her as I had instructed and she went back to sleep until 6.30am like the good girl that she is! She not only ate her breakfast, she even drank almost a whole bottle too!
I am hoping that this now opens the way for her to go up there at other times! It would be so great to have some time to ourselves once and a while. Maybe to enjoy dinner out or even a movie etc. Am so proud of Missy for being such a good wee girl!
Miss Holly is now walking like she has done it all of her little wee life. She races around the house without a care in the world. She is so funny. When she knows she is doing something that we don't like her to do, she tries to run away from us, giggling her head off like it is the biggest joke out!
The other day I could hear splashing water coming from somewhere and what do you know Miss Holly was no where to be seen....until I looked in the toilet! There she is with the toilet brush in her hand splashing it in and out of the toilet! Water going everywhere, so much so that she was having trouble getting traction on the slippery floor! She thought it was hilarious. I must admit that I did too but I was really trying hard not to laugh out loud! Don't want to encourage her too much. Instead I steered her out of the toilet and told her that next time I would show her how to use the vacuum cleaner and the washing machine since she was so keen haha!
Tomorrow she is off to get her 15 month old immunisations. Am taking Farmer Brown with me as he will need to help me hold her for this round as she is to get 3 injections this time. One in each thigh and one in the arm. Poor wee bugger! Needs to be done though and she doesn't have the next ones until she is 4 years old. At least its a big break between this and the next lot!
She is back at Day Care this week after a two week break for the Christmas Holidays. I have enjoyed having her at home with me, but I would be lying if I said that I was happy that she was going back on Tuesday haha!
So 2014, so far so good and long may it continue. Lets put all the turmoil of last year behind us and look onwards and upwards for the next exciting chapter in our busy busy lives!
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Christmas Day
Wow so after all the build up and anticipation of waiting for Christmas it is now the day after and we can all have the chance to take a breath again.
We had a great day with Farmer Browns family up at the big house. We started the day off with breakfast at our place, just the three of us. Farmer Brown and I opened the presentsthat we had for each other. I had been on Ambulance duty the night beforeSo I decided to have a quick nap after breakfast before we headed up to The Big House for Christmas Lunch.
Before we had lunch we opened our presents. Of course we all enjoyed helping and watching Miss Holly rip into hers. She didn't need too much help and really seemed to be enjoying herself. She of course was spoilt rotten. She managed to score a tractor, a horse and a motorbike! She got lots of other items too. Books, toys, a little armchair, paddling pool and much much more!
After the rest of us had opened our gifts we had our beautiful and delicious lunch that Farmer Browns Mum had made for us. We were not disappointed as my Mother In Law is an amazing cook. This time I remembered that my eyes were not as big as my belly and I paced myself. After lunch came dessert so as you can imagine I was quite glad that 1 had controlled myself during lunch!
Then we all just hung out with each other for a while playing with and watching Miss Holly enjoy her new toys before we headed back to our place for a bit of a rest before we were due back up at The Big House for dinner.
All in all Miss Holly had a fabulous day and was very very tired by the end of it. She slept for 12 hours that night which was just great for me haha!
So I hope you all had a Merry Christmas however you spent it. Now bring on the New Year!
We had a great day with Farmer Browns family up at the big house. We started the day off with breakfast at our place, just the three of us. Farmer Brown and I opened the presentsthat we had for each other. I had been on Ambulance duty the night beforeSo I decided to have a quick nap after breakfast before we headed up to The Big House for Christmas Lunch.
Before we had lunch we opened our presents. Of course we all enjoyed helping and watching Miss Holly rip into hers. She didn't need too much help and really seemed to be enjoying herself. She of course was spoilt rotten. She managed to score a tractor, a horse and a motorbike! She got lots of other items too. Books, toys, a little armchair, paddling pool and much much more!
After the rest of us had opened our gifts we had our beautiful and delicious lunch that Farmer Browns Mum had made for us. We were not disappointed as my Mother In Law is an amazing cook. This time I remembered that my eyes were not as big as my belly and I paced myself. After lunch came dessert so as you can imagine I was quite glad that 1 had controlled myself during lunch!
Then we all just hung out with each other for a while playing with and watching Miss Holly enjoy her new toys before we headed back to our place for a bit of a rest before we were due back up at The Big House for dinner.
All in all Miss Holly had a fabulous day and was very very tired by the end of it. She slept for 12 hours that night which was just great for me haha!
So I hope you all had a Merry Christmas however you spent it. Now bring on the New Year!
Saturday, December 14, 2013
The Gift of Time
So as the silly season approaches, with greater speed than the year before, we are all left trying to decided what the best gift is for us to prevent to our loved ones.
This can be a stressfull time for some, whether it be due to financial reasons, family members in distant places or overseas, family members who may not be with us here on earth anymore or you just plain don't like this time of the year!
I must say that I was in the "I just plan don't like this time of the year" but for many reasons. My biggest being that I don't really have my own family around me to celebrate with. Don't get me wrong, I do have Farmer Browns family and they accept me as one of their own. But you just can't beat your own flesh and blood being with you at this time of the year.
I have an interesting family dynamic. My mum lives in the South Island and my Sister lives in Mexico. Well that's no big deal you might say but ... they are both part of a religion that chooses not to celebrate such occasions as Birthdays or Christmas. My brother (Uncle Balls ) and his fantastic wife (the hot Asian) live in Melbourne, Australia. Thankfully they have recently been liberated from the strangle hold of the religion/cult that my Mother and Sister believe in. Both of my Grandparents are not with us on earth anymore. In fact my Grandpa died on Christmas Eve so that sort of spoils that day and night, as we were both close to each other. Miss you Pop!
I do have an Aunty and Uncle and a Cousin and her Fiance. Normally we would spend part of the day with them, either at their place or at ours. Last year I was on my own here at the farm with Holly as a two month old. My Aunty told me that she was going to their beach house for Christmas, then I saw photos of her on Facebook at another relatives of theirs late into the night of Christmas! Guess they didn't quite make it there afteral. This year I was looking forward to spending time with them as we didn't see them last year. But thats where you are mistaken...
I got a text from her stating that they would be going to the beach early on Christmas morning and that they would be having drinks on Christmas Eve so they wouldn't be available to see us then either. Nothing like feeling the love haha! I said that it would be a stink Christmas not having your only family member in NZ to celebrate Christmas with. She said I was trying to make her feel guilty, that she didn't have time for us this year, that it wasn't all about me and that she wanted to be somewhere quiet where she could put her feet up! OKAY THEN! Why don't you just say what your really feeling!
I have calmed down a little bit since that conversation. I just feel sorry for Miss Holly who will grow up with only one side of her family, that of Farmer Browns.
That got me thinking as to why I was so upset by what my Aunty had said. I think what it comes down to is this...
Since our dad left when we were only young (I was 7 years old and my brother not quite 2 years old) we have never had a complete family. Our mother always did the best by us and brought us up the best way she knew how. When my dad left so did one whole side of our family. That is our other Grandparents, Uncles and Auntys as well as cousins that we have never even met.
Then out mother joined a religion/cult that didn't celebrate Christmas, amongst other things. As a result of that from my 13th birthday onwards we never celebrated Christmas Day with our remaining family. We were on the outside, almost treated as outsiders by the remaining family as they didn't understand why we no longer took part in such days and celebrations.
Long story short I broke free of this religion/cult in my 20's and haven't looked back since. Now I became the outsider, on my own in a world that I was taught was bad, wicked and condemned etc. I started to celebrate Christmas with my Aunty and her family, a union for which I was grateful for as I now had true family to share this day with again. Then I met Troy and his family welcomed me with open arms.
My mother chooses to have limited contact with me and my little family. She has also choosen to break all contact with my brother and his wife, since they broke free. This breaks my heart! How can someone love their "god" more than their own family? But that could be a whole other topic to blog about haha!
All I have ever wanted is to be part of a family. To "fit" somewhere.
Now I have the gift of our Holly to make my own little family with. I also welcomed the news/decision of Uncle Balls and the Hot Asian breaking free of the religion/cult to join us as family again. Stink they live in Melbourne, but I can't have everything my own way! Afteral it's not all about me remember haha!
This year has been a bit of challenge to say the least. The last 6 months in particular, dealing with Farmer Brown's bipolar episodes etc have honestly been draining and hard to deal with. I found myself getting so annoyed and angry about things here on the farm and the lack of time that he has for our family and his little girl. If he isn't working, he is sleeping. If he isn't sleeping, he is working etc.
Again I ask myself: why does this upset me so much?
Daddy issues! When I was a little girl I was Daddy's girl. I went everywhere with him and was always with him down at the workshop. However, he never really had time for us at home. As I am the oldest I guess that I am a bit luckier as I did get to spend more time with him. He was always working either at the workshop, on the road, at our house or at our beach house building it. He felt that making things for us made up for this. He made us things like a set of swings, a seesaw, a rocking horse, a dolls cot etc. But I guess all I really wanted was: THE GIFT OF TIME.
So there it is in a nutshell. I too want Farmer Brown to give us the Gift of Time. Working hard and saving money is great but we need to see him and spend time with him too. The farm can be all consuming at the best of times. Working involves him pretty much 14 hours a day and 7 days a week.
Expensive gifts are nice but you can't beat the gift of time. I don't want our daughter growing up wishing that her Daddy had spent more time with her. I don't want Farmer Brown to have regrets later in his life about not spending time withi his little girl. She just loves it when he comes home in the morning. Calling out Daddy and waving to him through the window before he is even inside! Most days he is asleep when she goes to Day Care and so misses out on wishing her a happy day and kissing her goodbye.
So I guess what I am trying to say is that I don't want my little girl growing up without family surrounding her. I want her to "fit" somewhere. To be told by my only family (here in NZ) that they don't have time for us, cut a bit close to the quick for me. The pressure of living with a husband with bipolar and who is a Dairy Farmer should not get in the way of me providing unconditional love for my baby girl.
Think not of the expensive toys and other presents that are sometimes thought of as a must. Rather think of the GIFT OF TIME. Nothing could be more important than that. Time goes by so quickly that our time here sometimes passes us by. Don't let this happen to your family. Take some time out, pick up your kids and give them a hug and a kiss. Read them a story or if you really have to - sing them a song haha! If you don't have kids, steal someone elses - no that is not recommended. Just hug the person next to you. Do we need a reason? Just do it!
And if someone does give you gift of time, be sure to play it forward! It costs nothing and the rewards are ten fold!
This can be a stressfull time for some, whether it be due to financial reasons, family members in distant places or overseas, family members who may not be with us here on earth anymore or you just plain don't like this time of the year!
I must say that I was in the "I just plan don't like this time of the year" but for many reasons. My biggest being that I don't really have my own family around me to celebrate with. Don't get me wrong, I do have Farmer Browns family and they accept me as one of their own. But you just can't beat your own flesh and blood being with you at this time of the year.
I have an interesting family dynamic. My mum lives in the South Island and my Sister lives in Mexico. Well that's no big deal you might say but ... they are both part of a religion that chooses not to celebrate such occasions as Birthdays or Christmas. My brother (Uncle Balls ) and his fantastic wife (the hot Asian) live in Melbourne, Australia. Thankfully they have recently been liberated from the strangle hold of the religion/cult that my Mother and Sister believe in. Both of my Grandparents are not with us on earth anymore. In fact my Grandpa died on Christmas Eve so that sort of spoils that day and night, as we were both close to each other. Miss you Pop!
I do have an Aunty and Uncle and a Cousin and her Fiance. Normally we would spend part of the day with them, either at their place or at ours. Last year I was on my own here at the farm with Holly as a two month old. My Aunty told me that she was going to their beach house for Christmas, then I saw photos of her on Facebook at another relatives of theirs late into the night of Christmas! Guess they didn't quite make it there afteral. This year I was looking forward to spending time with them as we didn't see them last year. But thats where you are mistaken...
I got a text from her stating that they would be going to the beach early on Christmas morning and that they would be having drinks on Christmas Eve so they wouldn't be available to see us then either. Nothing like feeling the love haha! I said that it would be a stink Christmas not having your only family member in NZ to celebrate Christmas with. She said I was trying to make her feel guilty, that she didn't have time for us this year, that it wasn't all about me and that she wanted to be somewhere quiet where she could put her feet up! OKAY THEN! Why don't you just say what your really feeling!
I have calmed down a little bit since that conversation. I just feel sorry for Miss Holly who will grow up with only one side of her family, that of Farmer Browns.
That got me thinking as to why I was so upset by what my Aunty had said. I think what it comes down to is this...
Since our dad left when we were only young (I was 7 years old and my brother not quite 2 years old) we have never had a complete family. Our mother always did the best by us and brought us up the best way she knew how. When my dad left so did one whole side of our family. That is our other Grandparents, Uncles and Auntys as well as cousins that we have never even met.
Then out mother joined a religion/cult that didn't celebrate Christmas, amongst other things. As a result of that from my 13th birthday onwards we never celebrated Christmas Day with our remaining family. We were on the outside, almost treated as outsiders by the remaining family as they didn't understand why we no longer took part in such days and celebrations.
Long story short I broke free of this religion/cult in my 20's and haven't looked back since. Now I became the outsider, on my own in a world that I was taught was bad, wicked and condemned etc. I started to celebrate Christmas with my Aunty and her family, a union for which I was grateful for as I now had true family to share this day with again. Then I met Troy and his family welcomed me with open arms.
My mother chooses to have limited contact with me and my little family. She has also choosen to break all contact with my brother and his wife, since they broke free. This breaks my heart! How can someone love their "god" more than their own family? But that could be a whole other topic to blog about haha!
All I have ever wanted is to be part of a family. To "fit" somewhere.
Now I have the gift of our Holly to make my own little family with. I also welcomed the news/decision of Uncle Balls and the Hot Asian breaking free of the religion/cult to join us as family again. Stink they live in Melbourne, but I can't have everything my own way! Afteral it's not all about me remember haha!
This year has been a bit of challenge to say the least. The last 6 months in particular, dealing with Farmer Brown's bipolar episodes etc have honestly been draining and hard to deal with. I found myself getting so annoyed and angry about things here on the farm and the lack of time that he has for our family and his little girl. If he isn't working, he is sleeping. If he isn't sleeping, he is working etc.
Again I ask myself: why does this upset me so much?
Daddy issues! When I was a little girl I was Daddy's girl. I went everywhere with him and was always with him down at the workshop. However, he never really had time for us at home. As I am the oldest I guess that I am a bit luckier as I did get to spend more time with him. He was always working either at the workshop, on the road, at our house or at our beach house building it. He felt that making things for us made up for this. He made us things like a set of swings, a seesaw, a rocking horse, a dolls cot etc. But I guess all I really wanted was: THE GIFT OF TIME.
So there it is in a nutshell. I too want Farmer Brown to give us the Gift of Time. Working hard and saving money is great but we need to see him and spend time with him too. The farm can be all consuming at the best of times. Working involves him pretty much 14 hours a day and 7 days a week.
Expensive gifts are nice but you can't beat the gift of time. I don't want our daughter growing up wishing that her Daddy had spent more time with her. I don't want Farmer Brown to have regrets later in his life about not spending time withi his little girl. She just loves it when he comes home in the morning. Calling out Daddy and waving to him through the window before he is even inside! Most days he is asleep when she goes to Day Care and so misses out on wishing her a happy day and kissing her goodbye.
So I guess what I am trying to say is that I don't want my little girl growing up without family surrounding her. I want her to "fit" somewhere. To be told by my only family (here in NZ) that they don't have time for us, cut a bit close to the quick for me. The pressure of living with a husband with bipolar and who is a Dairy Farmer should not get in the way of me providing unconditional love for my baby girl.
Think not of the expensive toys and other presents that are sometimes thought of as a must. Rather think of the GIFT OF TIME. Nothing could be more important than that. Time goes by so quickly that our time here sometimes passes us by. Don't let this happen to your family. Take some time out, pick up your kids and give them a hug and a kiss. Read them a story or if you really have to - sing them a song haha! If you don't have kids, steal someone elses - no that is not recommended. Just hug the person next to you. Do we need a reason? Just do it!
And if someone does give you gift of time, be sure to play it forward! It costs nothing and the rewards are ten fold!
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
The Day Care Experience
Well Miss Holly has been going to Day Care now for almost 2 months. She just loves it. I can't believe how much she has changed since she's been going there. Her development is racing along leaps and bounds. Everyday she comes home she tells me, in her babble, all the exciting things she has done during the day.
Have had some friends ask me why she is in Day Care when I don't work. I too struggled with the same question, but I know that I have made the right decision for her. Living on a dairy farm you can sometimes feel isolated. I want her to grow up with as many friends as possible. I have seen what living on a farm has done to Farmer Brown and his brother. Let me put it this way...Farmer Brown's brother is now 44 and still lives at home with his mum and dad!
I am coming off two nights shifts at the beginning of each week so with Miss Holly being away at Day Care allows me to catch up, on my sleep. Before when she was home with me, I was only able to nap when she did so I never really had quality sleep or be able to catch up properly. Another blessing of Day Care!
I think that it is very important for little ones to socialised and I definately want this for Miss Holly. She just loves being around other people, young or old. As she started at the Day Care on the second day it was open, she will grow up with the other kids there. Making life long friends thus having mates not only now but as they move onto school etc.
The other thing that I really love about Day Care is that they do so much extra stuff with the kids that I wouldn't think about. I do plenty with Miss Holly at home but it is great that she is doing different stuff each day she is there with them. I get a real kick out of seeing all her arts and craft work up on the walls when I go into collect her.
She is more than happy to be dropped off for the three days a week that she attends. When she goes back after the weekend she calls out and waves to her little mates when she enters the centre. It's almost like she is saying "Hey bitches, I'm back!". She is such a hoot.
So I guess that even though there maybe some out there who don't like Day Care and think that Mums should look after their own kids, I don't care! I LOVE Day Care and what it represents!
Have had some friends ask me why she is in Day Care when I don't work. I too struggled with the same question, but I know that I have made the right decision for her. Living on a dairy farm you can sometimes feel isolated. I want her to grow up with as many friends as possible. I have seen what living on a farm has done to Farmer Brown and his brother. Let me put it this way...Farmer Brown's brother is now 44 and still lives at home with his mum and dad!
I am coming off two nights shifts at the beginning of each week so with Miss Holly being away at Day Care allows me to catch up, on my sleep. Before when she was home with me, I was only able to nap when she did so I never really had quality sleep or be able to catch up properly. Another blessing of Day Care!
I think that it is very important for little ones to socialised and I definately want this for Miss Holly. She just loves being around other people, young or old. As she started at the Day Care on the second day it was open, she will grow up with the other kids there. Making life long friends thus having mates not only now but as they move onto school etc.
The other thing that I really love about Day Care is that they do so much extra stuff with the kids that I wouldn't think about. I do plenty with Miss Holly at home but it is great that she is doing different stuff each day she is there with them. I get a real kick out of seeing all her arts and craft work up on the walls when I go into collect her.
She is more than happy to be dropped off for the three days a week that she attends. When she goes back after the weekend she calls out and waves to her little mates when she enters the centre. It's almost like she is saying "Hey bitches, I'm back!". She is such a hoot.
So I guess that even though there maybe some out there who don't like Day Care and think that Mums should look after their own kids, I don't care! I LOVE Day Care and what it represents!
Sunday, October 13, 2013
First Bithday Party!
After turning the big 1 on Wednesday we had her birthday party yesterday (Saturday) at our place, down on the farm!
At first I thought it was going to be a crap day in the weather department. I woke to the sound of thunder rumbling around the place, wind rushing through the trees and rain against the window! Great day for a party!! Anyway the weather gods decided to shine on our party day because as the day got further along the sun came out to play! It was a little windy at times, but kids will be kids and a little wind and rain never stopped any of them haha!
We got Miss Holly at swing set for her birthday and I spent two hours constructing the bloody thing on Thursday afternoon! It was put through its paces yesterday with all the kids having heaps of fun playing, swinging and hanging from it! I remember briefly yelling out a disclaimer just in case anyone fell off it haha. Considering we had 3 Paramedics and 3 EMT's present I don't think I had to worry too much if I needed to call for help haha!
Miss Holly had the best day. She wore her new party dress that her Nanny got her from the big ole USA! Nanny also made Miss Holly her birthday cake. She did a fantastic job of it, and everyone loved it as there was not too much left haha! Always the sign of a great cake.
It was really nice to have everyone at our place for a change. Normally we travel to the Big Smoke for family stuff. You would think that we live on another planet the way some people carry on about travelling our way! Funny as most of them mentioned that it wasn't that hard or difficult to find. We only live in Otorohanga not Timbucktoo people!
Miss Holly got great presents. Lots of toys and new clothes to wear. I think that Farmer Brown and I had just as much fun playing with them. I know that I sure had fun "helping" Miss Holly to open them. Man I wish I was 1 again!
So the next big party on the calendar is my 40th at the end of November. Now I have Miss Hollys party done and dusted it is time to put my party planning hat back on again and get the underway!
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