Support. What does it really mean?

So what does support mean to you? I am sure that we all have different ideas on what it means. I am also sure that we feel that we give enough support to others too.

Lately I have felt that the support factor has been lacking in our house. Sometimes I feel like I am bringing up little Holly all on my own. Now to be fair I am not just talking about Farmer Brown. We have a set of Grandparents living on the farm too. They live only a couple of paddocks away and are retired.

Maybe I have just come through a bit of a down patch, as I know that I have been really tired lately. I am not expecting to be waited on hand and foot, of course I wouldn't complain if by some miracle this was to actually happen! Just get a bit tired of Farmer Brown thinking that he is the only one who works a 15-16 hour day. I don't think he has actually really thought about it. Don't think anyone round here believes that what I do all day, that's looking after everyones favourite daughter and grand daughter, is actually work that is quite tiring. Can't blame me for thinking that when just recently when we had a week off Nanny asked me if I had enjoyed the break. I said that it was more like a change of scene for me as my day continued as it normally does: looking after Miss Holly and Farmer Brown. She told me that it was more important that Farmer Brown got a rest as he was the real worker! Don't worry I like her too much to punch her in the face, but man I came close! Just chose to walk away from that remark!

I knew when I got pregnant that our lives were going to change forever, for the better too as far as I was concerned! Farmer Brown seems to believe that life just carrys on as if was before - Holly who? To be honest I find this quite maddening.

I guess this is just one of those things that you just suck up and get over. I mean afteral it's just me getting upset over it. Just me doing my own head in I guess. I mean whats wrong with going to toilet just so that you can have some alone time! Whats wrong with closing the bathroom door and putting on the extractor fan while you are having a shower, trying to block out all the noise! What was I thinking!

However...I do draw the line at the thought of having to give up the one thing that I enjoy and worked hard to get a qualification in. That is my ambulance work. I know that it is voluntary work, but I love it and I don't really want to have to give it up. But it is looking more and more like that is what is going to happen.

I was supposed to be on a two day course this weekend, however I did not go. When I put it to Farmer Brown, lets just say that he wasn't too impressed that I wouldn't be able to look after Holly. I mean he actually expected me to take her with me! WTF!!!

Sometimes it just isn't worth the stress. Like I said, it just does my head in. Life is all about scarificing things for those we love. This is going to be one of the times. I love my little girl and want the best for her. If that means that ambulance has to take the back seat for a few years, I guess I can live with that can't I?

So I guess that it's chin up time. Time to get over myself. Time to be the Mum I said I wanted to be...

A Mum that makes sacrifices for her family!